APRIL FOOL THAT I AM

  (WARNING:  This entry is not meant to be understood...)

Last April 1st, I attempted to pull one on my Best but as always, the joke was on me.  This week's been a blur to me.  I alternated from being ok to being unenthusiastic, then back again... until Best found me crying in bed this morning before I was even awake.  For what reason, I don't know.  I just feel sad about many things.  Some are product of my touchy-feeliness this time in my life and some are my paranoid reactions to questions and assumptions (at least as interpreted by my glum mood and temperamentality right now) thrown my way and some are just general things (like the price of a kilo of rice has increased! or that the peso is getting stronger but we little people don't see nor feel it! HAHAHA) 

All these bottled up questions, uncertainties and uncleared air are taking their toll on my peace of mind.  Well, who knows, maybe I only need a little bit more of sleep! or "maybe to be back with a body that has one hidden belly button; not 1+ 3 whereas the 2nd, 3rd & 4th "navels" keep dripping a river with an end that is most likely a month more or two from now."  And then there's another doubtful one....

Patience, patience, patience..... it is a virtue...

.....well, right now, I'm not one virtuous woman, just one frustrated bruhilda....

We've been checking the two books of Kings this week. It's a narration about the kings and the events during their reign in Israel and Judah. Good and powerful stories, though some actions are senseless, and this makes some narratives sad, graphic and tragic.  Tragic as in mothers making deals and schedules to cook their children just so they could survive a famine.  It is really sad and the tragic stories do not help any to improve my state of mind.  Read the books, you'll see. There is no happiness most anywhere...

When I try to hide my emotions behind flippancy or indifference, it backfires.......  Honesty speaks....  Some people are probably wondering what screw in my head is loose.

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Thanks to my fellow scrabblers... the games really help give a detour for this overwrought mind, body and soul! 

Sis D, ayan, nag-umpisa na akong maloka!  Don't worry, you'll have your turn...

O God, my Abba Father, I know that it's by Your grace alone that I'm still here!
And still, I need your grace in my life.... Please protect me from my rebellious self and from any of the things that the enemy intends to use to block my path to the lessons I should learn, the humility I should demonstrate, the forgiveness I should give and receive, the love and blessings I should appreciate, the joy I should be enjoying, the goals I should be envisioning and the realization of the growth that you are cheering me on to reach.   In your Son and my Savior Jesus' name. Amen .