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Showing posts from February, 2008

BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR

Here's more of those forwarded stuff that I think some of you would love. It is claimed as a true story but who knows...A lawyer in Charlotte, North CArolina purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.' The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued and WON!
(Stay with me.) Delivering the ruling , the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure …

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

Author Unknown
1.At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.3.Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.4.Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It 'In.'5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6.In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'7.Finish All Your sentences! With 'In Accordance With The Prophecy.' 8.Don't use any punctuation.9.As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.10.Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go.' 12. Sing Along At The Opera13.

A LETTER OF APPRECIATION TO TIDE

Image
(Another one of those forwarded emails floating around. I think it's funny, but be forewarned... in a criminal way! hehehe)
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going throu…

What Do Retired People Do All Day?

(I got this from an older friend. I didn't ask if it's his own story or just one of those funny stories that circulates around. Anyhow, I think it's funny so I'm sharing it:)

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day the wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes.
When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a dumb@$%%.He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.
So Mary called him a s*%#head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for 2o more minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus.…

WORDS

Author Unknown

I have always had a special love for words. Words have such power in them.The right words can uplift, inspire, heal, and create endless joy andlove in our lives. The wrong words can depress, discourage, hurt, and bringus endless misery and pain. It is so very important then to try andchoose the right words in our lives. By choosing the right words I don't justmean saying the right words or writing the right words either. I also meanthinking the right words. It is amazing the garbage that so many of usallow ourselves to think each and every day of our lives.

In order to live a truly blessed life we must haul away the garbageand start to plant words that will grow into a garden of joy and light inour minds. Start today then to make the words in your life work for youand not against you. Do away with "can't" and "no". Try "can" and "yes" instead.Say, " I can be happy, I can choose joy, and I can share love.&quo…

MEME: RECENT MOVIE I SAW

Unlucky me! I was messing around with my music folders and at the same time chatting with my sis D of Me, Myself and I when she told me that she's doing one of these tagging things and that she's gonna tag me. I ignored it :) and went to visit with my neighbors. When I got back to my pc, and refreshed my Mozilla, there's D's blog and tag staring back at me, so I don't have a choice but to do it, right? :)

She talked about All In, a Korean serial drama that she borrowed from a friend of hers. I remember a few days ago when I went online at around 1 or 2 in the morning and found her online also. I told her to go to sleep already. I asked her-- like three times, why she's still up and what she's doing but I didn't get a good answer. :) Was that because of this All In drama? Hmm, probably... I can relate to that though, I've done the same and worst when I watched Prison Break Season 1 and 2 in August of last year and House 1-3 last month for thre…

TANGAB, TENGEB, OR TANGEB???

Probinsiya tayon Vizcaya (Vizcaya, our province)
Kadakkelen ni Kalanguya (Where Kalanguyas are many)
Nakalkalahi hapit da (They have different dialects)
Way aatang, eeteng tan aateng (There is 'aatang eeteng tan aateng' [big]'
No piyan tayon amtaan (If you want to know)
Logad ni da naikad-anan (the places where they are)
Di bandan Haggud, kamangkal-ing (In the Haggud side, they use the "e" sound)
Di ka-Benguet-an, kamankib-al. (In the Benguet area, they use the 'a' sound)

No ibag-an iday nangkaama (If you ask the elders)
Toy nalapwan ni Kalanguya (Where Kalanguyas were from)
Andi kusto ni makaamta (Nobody knows where exactly)
Basta kan da ay Tinoc kono li pa (From Tinoc, they usually say)
Nem uray, takon, di anggan (But even then, as such)
Anggan ketteg ag pakatontonan (We don't have to trace really carefully)
Basta hay importanted tan (The important thing here is that)
Kalanguya at man-iinawatan. (The Kalanguyas live in peace with each other)

Hipa na-mo kayman atman…

JOKE LANG!

When I was a student in Baguio, my Ibaloi friends used to bombard me with Kalanguya or rather 'anti-Kalanguya' jokes. I never was able to hold my own around those nasty jokers. :)
So how about this for revenge? Hehehe


INA: Anak, tawagim kha's dadim ta on-akad kha nin ale! (Anak, tawagam man ni daddy'm ta agawid koma.)

ANAK: Mama, Bi-i met i sinmongbat! (Mama, babae met diay simungbat!)

INA: Arah! Agpayso sota sutpetsak ay waray kabit nen tatang mo! Ngantoy kwan nita bii? (Ay apo! Agpayso gayam diay sutpetsak nga adda ti kabit ni tatang mo! Ania kunana diay babae?)

ANAK: "You have zero balance in your account!" Kwan to met! (You have zero balance in your account, kunana met.)

INA: Ayuh! Kashianak mango ni abos! Insa-dat towak emo lad 'merikano! Ita met ja emanEngdis. Pinshowam khan tawagan! (Ay apo! Kasian dak! Insukat nak sa met ti amerikana. Umaninglish met dayta. Tawagam man manen!)

ANAK: Sota bii met mowan, kwan toy please reload immedi…

Listen to some Kalanguya church songs

The above slideshow contains two songs from our band's (kano met ah!:) first attempt at recording some centuries ago (well, 9 years ago when cassette tapes were still around). We recorded a Kalanguya Gospel Album for our churches. Enjoy uray adi yo maawatan!

The first one is an adaptation of a Tagalog praise song that goes:

Ikaw lang ang pag-asa ko, tanging ikaw ang buhay ko, Jesus
Kapag ikaw ang kasama, panatag na.

Kahit kailan di ka nagkulang
Biyaya mo sa aki'y laging laan
Pag-ibig mo sa'ki'y walang hanggan
Inibig mo ako noon pa man.

Ikaw lang ang sasambahin, paligid man ay magdilim, Jesus
At kung may suliranin man ang lagi kong aawitan ikaw lamang.