A COMPARATIVE STUDY ON THE BONTOC, KALANGUYA AND BIBLICAL CULTURE OF MARRIAGE
A STUDY ON THE BONTOC,
KALANGUYA AND BIBLICAL CULTURE OF MARRIAGE
Introduction
Marriage is
one practice common to every culture. It is the foundation of one basic institution
of the society which is the family. Though marriage is a given, ceremonies,
functions, and meanings attached to it vary significantly from culture to
culture. This study will look at three particular cultures, two of which are
tribal groups in the northern part of Luzon Island, Philippines. We will peep at the marriage practices of
the Bontocs of Mountain Province, the Kalanguyas of Nueva Vizcaya, as well as
the practices and functions of marriage in the Bible comparing and contrasting
them with one another.
There are remarkable
similarities between the three cultures which are as follows: First is the respect in the sanctity of
marriage. Though Kalanguya and Bontoc tribes did not have the concept of
holiness of marriage, they do have a supra-cultural sense of its inviolability.
Secondly, in the marriage arrangement; all three cultures practice parental
arrangement though among the Kalanguyas and Bontocs, this pre-arranged
betrothal can be broken depending on the decisions of the man and woman involved.
There is no mention of broken arrangement in the Bible except for Joseph’s plan
to secretly leave Mary when he found out that she was pregnant. Thirdly,
marriage relations to immediate family members are prohibited (Lev. 18:6-18;
20:14, 17, 19-21; Mark 6:18). Lastly, one of the primary functions which
marriage serves is the same in all three cultures and that is procreation;
romantic attachments are also common to each culture though the cases are
mostly that a person does not marry the one he loves but he loves the person he
married; plus a wedding celebration is definitely a feast and a happy occasion
for the couple, the families and the invited guests in all three cultures.
Contrastive
practices were also noted between the three cultures. In Exodus 22:16-17 is a
written law implying that in the Hebrew culture, there is a bride price that a
man has to pay for his bride. This is one difference in the three cultures
because the Kalanguyas and the Bontocs do not require a bride price for their
women only that they be married properly according to the standard ceremony of
the tribe. The Kalanguyas have their own ceremony of courtship and engagement
as the Bontocs also have their own; and both practices are dissimilar to
Biblical accounts. The procedure of the wedding ceremony and the meanings and
goals attached to these processes are absolutely poles apart in each
culture.
To the Kalanguya tribe, it is taboo
to marry a blood relative no matter how far in the lineage he or she may be.
For as long as it is established that two people are somehow related to each
other by blood, marriage is definitely out of the picture. To marry someone
knowing that he or she is related to you by blood is strongly discouraged and
prohibited in the culture. Relative means anyone who the mabaki (shaman) can trace back to the nth degree. Marrying a blood
relative is believed to anger the spirits.
Married couples who have been found out later to be relatives will have
to perform a series of Cañao to appease the spirits especially the ancestral
spirits. Nowadays, marriages between fourth cousins downwards is tolerated but
not without sour comments and derisive stares from the community. On the other
hand, Abraham married her half-sister; Isaac and Jacob married their cousins.
The Bontocs also permit marriage between first cousins.
In the Biblical culture, Jesus
frequently used figures drawn from marriage to illustrate His teaching
concerning the coming of the kingdom, as Paul did concerning Christ and the
church. There is no suggestion of reflection upon the Old Testament teaching
about marriage in His teaching except at one point, the modification of it so
as to allow polygamy and divorce (Mat. 5:31-32; Mark 10:2-12; Matt 19:2-9; Luke
16:18). Everywhere He accepts and deals with marriage as sacred and of Divine
origin (Mt 19:9, etc.), but He treats it as transient, that is of the
"flesh" and for this life only.[1]
A. Selection of Husband or Wife
·
Bontocs
There is a room called olog where unmarried young ladies use as
sleeping quarters. The ladies would sleep along side each other across the
room. They usually have an unmarried older woman sleep with them; she’s like
their matron. In this quarter, young men usually visit the ladies at night. A
man can court the woman he fancies there. On one hand, it is not always the
young man who takes the first step in contacting a girl. A girl can also show her love to a man. My
mother told me that in their time, the girls often make their feelings known by
taking something that belongs to the man. At times, the matron will accompany
the girl to the house of the man to know if the man loves and accepts her and
if the man’s parents approve of her. A man shows his love to a girl by bringing
home firewood at the girl’s house. When the parents of the girl do not approve
of the man, they would tell him not to bring firewood (sa-eng) any more. As for
the characteristics that women look for in a man, women in the higher class
look at the properties that a man has. But now that kachangyans don’t matter, usually they look at his job. Beauty is
determined usually by the parents of a man. A woman is said to be beautiful if
she has properties and is industrious.
- Kalanguya
Majority of the marriages in the
1970s and the years before that were pre-arranged by village elders if not by the
parents of both parties. There are two types of arrangement: The first is
called “kalon.” If a young man wants
to marry a young woman, he would go to the village elders (usually, the
grandparents who have raised their own families and have a good standing and
are being respected in the community) who in turn will tell the young man and
his parents what needs to be prepared; usually, a chicken and a liter of tapey (homemade rice wine). Also, they
will schedule a day on which they would accompany the young man to the house of
the parents of the young woman. When the day comes, the elders, the young man
and his parents will go to the girl’s house taking with them the chicken and
the rice wine. Second type of arrangement is between the parents. They can have
an agreement as early as pregnancy to marry off their children if one comes out
as a boy and the other, a girl. In
these two types of arrangements, the woman has the prerogative to refuse if she
wants to. The woman is not expected to say anything during a ‘kalon.’ But once she speaks, it is a
signal that she is saying no to the man who is proposing. Kalanguyas are not
verbally expressive so much so that the emotional aspects of love between young
men and women are seldom expressed or demonstrated visibly but that does not
mean that it does not exist.
In the past, physical appearance
does not seem to matter. The one qualification is if the man has a means to
feed his family (usually, parents should give him his own rice field or a piece
of land to till). During the Kalon,
the elders will tell the woman all the good qualities of the man proposing.
Usually this includes industry, self-reliance, helpfulness,
community-mindedness, not a drunkard, not a gambler, educated, etc. A woman
never makes the first move. She will be ridiculed if she does that. The
respectability of a single woman is in her ability to stay pure until a man
proposes marriage to her. Another reason and function of the Kalon practice is to ensure that no one
is marrying within his or her blood relatives.
- Biblical Culture
It was a common practice in the Old
Testament times for parents to choose and contract for their children. Hagar
selects a wife for Ishmael in Gen. 21:21; Abraham through his servant chose
Rebecca for Isaac (Gen. 24); Laban arranges for his daughters' marriage in Gen.
29; Samson asks his parents to procure him a wife in Judges 14:2. There is a
law In Exodus 22:16-17 which implies that in the Hebrew culture, the man has to
pay a bride price for his bride. Jacob paid a bride price which was in the form
of service to his father-in-law for Rachel and Leah.
There are also instances when the
brother was required to marry a brother's widow. Gen. 38:8 says, “Then Judah said to Onan, "Lie with
your brother's wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce
offspring for your brother." Ruth
4:5 also indicates the practice of levirate. The verse says, “Then Boaz said, "On the day you buy the
land from Naomi and from Ruth the Moabitess, you acquire the dead man's widow,
in order to maintain the name of the dead with his property."
A law that applies to a man who
refuses to marry his brother’s widow is written in Deut 25:5-10. “Then the elders of his town shall summon him
and talk to him. If he persists in saying, "I do not want to marry
her," 9 his brother's widow shall go up to him in the presence of the
elders, take off one of his sandals, spit in his face and say, "This is
what is done to the man who will not build up his brother's family line." That
man's line shall be known in Israel as The Family of the Unsandaled.” In
this kind of arrangement the circumstances is what makes the choice for a man
and a widow.
B. Engagement
- Bontoc
In the upper class that is called
kachangyan, children are betrothed even in infancy usually to keep the land.
Marriage among cousins is permitted even to the first degree. There are also
parental engagements among the lower class but mostly arranged by grandfathers
for friendship sake. When a man and a woman are betrothed, neither a relative
in each side can drink or eat together until such time that the “sokat si lokmog” is done. However, in
cases where the man or the woman wants to break the engagement for some reason,
they can do so by mutual consent and then they would tell their parents about
it. Reasons for breaking up engagement range from illness, disability or a
third party.
- Kalanguya
The Kalanguya version of engagement
is Pudong
(lit. a leaf of the reed plant
tied into a knot signifying ownership or that touching the thing or going to a
place with this tied reed leaf is prohibited by the owner). The Pudong period commences right after the kalon. This period runs from a week to a
month, intentionally shortened for fear that the woman might change her mind.
The man and his family will prepare a pig not younger than 8 months and butcher
it on the pudong ceremony usually the
second day after the woman nods to the proposal. Relatives of both sides as
well as elders of the village will be especially invited but any person who drops
by during this family affair will not be turned away. The family of the woman
will prepare basketsful of camote or sacs of rice to be boiled and eaten during
this affair. The woman’s mother or grandmother will also prepare pots of rice wine
beforehand so that the elders and the man will have something to drink together
in this occasion.
There are prohibitions during
engagement period: The woman is expected to stay close to the house for fear
that she might attract naughty spirits that might make her barren knowing that
she is going to be married soon. She can go to the fields if they have a field
near the house but her basket should only be full up to its rim to attract good
luck; basically to make an impression to the invisibles that she is not greedy
and so they will bless her and her husband’s labor or field later on in the
marriage. The man should not get firewood more than he can carry without much
discomfort, basically for the same reason as the woman; though the man is not
prohibited to venture out to a distant field. The engaged couple should be
careful to not be in the same house or place at any time after the pudong.
C. Marriage Ceremony/Wedding
Feast
- Bontoc
The ceremony is called “Sokat
si Lokmog.” This phrase which
literally means “exchange of cooked camote” is the first stage of the marriage.
Each party will bring uncooked rice, sticky rice, tapey or rice wine and meat to be cooked at the house of the woman
with only the immediate family members invited to partake. The women will then
get the rice from both parties and put them together to be cooked. Likewise,
the men get the meat and cook them. The relatives gathered will be socializing
while waiting for the cooking to be done. When it’s done everyone will gather
around and an elder will perform the Khaeb
is Makedse which is as follows: – In the making of the makedse, the host will prepare the following items: one winnower
made of rattan (lig-o), two plates
made of rattan (khiyag), a plant with
yellow flowers termed in Bontoc as papaksew/
sis-ilew, tapey placed in a container made of coconut shell (ongot), rice stalk (ollot). When these have been prepared, a portion of meat is placed
in the two khiyag together with rice.
The rest of the meat is placed on the lig-o,
which will be distributed after the kapya.
When all is ready, the person who will perform the ritual then holds the plant
and the ongot with tapey and starts reciting the creed
which relates to the two grandson from Ikhawa
going to Matekem, then to Palutan, to Patyayan, to Kamen-a , to
Amteytey, to Lamahkan, to Ngalab, to Foyayeng, to Kechegkhay ( all these mentioned names of places are places in
Bontoc) then enters the house of the person where the ritual is being made
thereby bringing blessings to the household, that all domestic animals
belonging to the household will multiply abundantly to include their harvest
that it be productive, that they be spared of all kinds of sickness and that
they continue to live their life free of misfortunes. After this has been
recited, the performer then pours a drop of tapey
to the ground stating that the tapey poured
is for the ones who have gone ahead. After taking a sip of the tapey, the doer then signals for the
distribution of the cooked meat, while the two khiyag with rice and meat is set aside for the ancestral spirits.
Then the meal begins. After this ceremony, the couples are considered man and
wife and the taboo of eating with each other was broken. The marriage ceremony
may continue at a church wedding or a Cañao as the couple see fit and is now a
public affair.
- Kalanguya
The Pudong period is a time for the family of the man to prepare what
they have to provide for the coming wedding feast. They are obliged to provide
1 big water buffalo or 1 cow, 1 pair of 2-year-old pig or more, and fire woods.
The woman’s family will shoulder the camote or rice and rice wine but the women
in the man’s family can also provide rice and camote. The wedding celebration
always takes place at the house of the bride’s family.
Primarily, the morning of the wedding
day is for cooking all the food. The elders will be seated together in a circle
and talk to each other about anything for the most part as the younger men and
women are busy cooking the food. Usually, everything is just boiled then served
in a makeshift long table built solely for that occasion. The children will be
served in a different table and then the adults will line up on the table, eat
and leave, then others will come and take their places. This is repeated until
everybody has eaten. The cooked meat is
cut into regular pieces and two men (one will hold the container, the other
will distribute the meat) will give a piece of meat to each one of the people
eating at the table.
After
everybody has eaten, while the women and young people are cleaning up, the
elders will start the ceremony. They will begin with a ba-liw. This is a series of chants that pronounces blessings to the
couple and invokes the spirits, the ancestors, and higher gods to bring good
luck and pour blessings to the couple. Anybody can participate in this
chanting. After the ba-liw, they will
call the couple, have them seat in the center of the gathering and anybody who
wants to say something will be given the opportunity to say a piece of advise
to the couple. Some sing a song, and some make a speech. After this, the mabaki (Shaman) will fill a coconut shell with water and have the
couple drink from it. The left-over of the water will be poured to the knees of
the couple while the mabaki pronounces
a madmad (A chant which is like a
wish). Usually, it goes something like this: “Onod yo et i danom aya, angketit; andokey i dillan to.” (Follow this
water, it is cold; it flowed from a long way.) This is an idiom expressing
a wish for long life to the couple. This particular mention of the coldness of
the water is an advice to be coolheaded during fights between the couple within
the marriage. The fact that water in the river flows freely and comes from and
goes a long way symbolizes the wish for the marriage to last.
After this, the couple will be
locked up in a room for three days while the people continue eating and
drinking until all the food is used up. If a bottle, pot or any breakable thing
was broken during the ceremony, the Wedding Feast has to be repeated because
this is a bad omen, meaning, the spirits were not satisfied. For three days,
the newly wed will not be allowed to go out of the room and should be cautious
not to see anything that moves (i.e. leaf of a tree swaying because of wind)
because this is also a bad omen and it is believed to surely bring bad luck to
the new family.
- Biblical Culture
New Testament references confirm the
original and sacred ordinance of marriage. The original appointment of monogamy
is confirmed in Matt. 19:6; Mark 10:6-8. Christ’s as well as other NT authors’
(1 Tim. 4:3; 5:14; Heb. 13:4) view of marriage is that of respect in the sanctity
of the marriage relationship as exemplified when Jesus attended the wedding in
Cana. Paul’s answer to the queries of the believers in Corinth gives both a panoramic
and close-up picture of what God thinks about marriage and how he guards the
marriage relationship. Paul even advised those who are married to unbelievers
to not leave the relationship for any other reason except for mutual agreement
between the husband and wife. Christ also affirmed the divine origin and
sacredness of marriage. “It is more than filial duty; it is unifying. The
husband and wife become one through the purity and intensity of mutual love;
common interests are necessitated by common affection (Matt. 19:5-6; Eph. 5:31).
According to the principles thus laid down, marriage is not merely a civil
contract; the Scriptures make it the most sacred relation of life; and nothing
can be imagined more contrary to their spirit than the notion that a personal
agreement, ratified in a human court, satisfies the obligation of this
ordinance."[2]
CONCLUSION
In light of the information and
procedures stated previously, it became apparent that most of the common
denominators among Bontoc and Kalanguya are the same as those that are upheld
by the Biblical culture. The purity and importance of the marriage institution
is illustrated by the care taken in the choosing, preparation and performance
of the marriage and all the ceremonies and meanings attached to them as well as
the functions that it serves to the particular culture. But still, there are
dissimilarities that stood out in the practice of this institution especially
in the two local cultures of Kalanguya and Bontoc.
The spiritual implications and significance
of the rituals as believed by the older or earlier members of these two
cultures definitely are not in agreement with what the Bible teaches regarding
marriage. Although the Bible does not have a divinely-prescribed ceremony, the
references which were given are enough to inform us that the thing is not in
following a step-by-step procedure to ensure a good marriage relationship but
rather in keeping the essence of the union which is as old as Genesis. “The
man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall
be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father
and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.“(Gen
2:23-24) Marriage should be honored by
all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all
the sexually immoral.” (Heb 13:4)
God also used marriage
metaphorically in conveying His message of judgment, forgiveness and
restoration to the disobedient and unfaithful Israel. The Lord Jesus also used marriage
and the family most characteristically in His description of the kingdom of God
as a social order in which the relationship of men to God is like that of sons
to a father, and their relation to each other like that between brothers. This
social ideal, which is summed up in this phrase, "Kingdom of God," occurs
more than a hundred times in the Gospels. The passages in which it occurs form
the interior climax of His message to men which is the Redeeming Love of God in
the Finished Work of His Son in the Cross.
Comments
Daphne