Here's What's Up

"Wow!  At last, I am back to my 100% good health!  My incision is completely healed and no more struggling to get up all by myself.  No more grimacing in pain, no more exasperation for being unable to do basic stuff, and most of all, no more feeling of being such a burden to people around me."  (In my dreams...)

It feels like a long time ago since I last wrote something personal here.  One of you had even pestered :) me to write an update but I promised myself that I will only write one when I have something happy and positive to say. 

A friend ask me how I am.doing and I gave her the following narrative.

"Nothing much has changed since my last news.  My wound is still open, wet and ghastly-looking. At least the pain has continually decreased in the last few weeks.. I am on vitamins that would enhance wound healing.  I'm hoping to see some improvements soon.  I've been to the doctor about this very slow wound healing but my dr. said, i'll just have to continue cleaning it and be a little more patient with my wound.  The Dr also started me on a hypoglaecemic that shall regulate my insulin and will also normalize my other physiological symptoms.  It is to treat my polycystic ovaries.  The medicine makes me sick (tired, nauseous, frequent trip to the toilet) most of the day but I was told that my body will adjust to it within four weeks or so.  This is my third week and the nausea won't let up. Except for the scary fever I had three nights in a row, all of the above are old news."

The challenge for me is not in the suffering but in the mildness of it.  The wound is confined to only a small part of my body but it has to stop me from doing what I should be doing.  I feel that I am not sick enough to stay in bed and I am strong enough to do as much as I can.  Yet this attitude might be the very thing that is making the healing process too long because after a day or two of trying to be a good convalescing patient, I try to 'cheat' and do things I can do but should not be doing.

The friend ask me again, "How are you doing, really?" 

Although the first paragraph of this entry is yet to become true, there is still a lot I can say about how the Lord has sustained and is sustaining me in these patience-trying, sanity-compromising times. 

"I have proven for myself that God can teach us in quietness. I tried anger, it didn't work; I only alienate the people who wants to show their love by taking care of me.  I tried self-pity, it aggravates the pain.  I tried pretention, acting like everything is happy and sunny, but I cry at nights, and it's lonely in the end, so I decided to just be patient and take one day at a time." .

D 'hesitantly' :-) gave me this verse... Romans 5:3-5. NLT  A great reminder...

3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us--they help us learn to endure. 4 And endurance develops strength of character in us, and character strengthens our confident expectation of salvation. 5 And this expectation will not disappoint us. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

Thanks be to the Lord for giving me friends and family who are faithful in their prayers.  I know the Lord listens to your prayers, and uses you to bless and encourage me to rest and be still.

Please pray for my interview tomorrow with someone from the company which shall be one of the major players in our future academic/ministry development training. (It will be awkward to be interviewed while practically lying down.  Well, I'll be on a reclining chair, and it will be kind of inclined but the body is still gonna be horizontal... ngiyaakkss)

Gracias...