For three times this year, she almost came face to face with her Creator. The first time was when she underwent an emergency surgery, the second was when her blood went septic due to an acute infection that was made worst by a typhoid fever, and then the third time was when her head and her husband's was almost ran over by a jeep when she and her husband fell off his motorbike during an accident last week.

All that made her realize how important time is and that we should be ready to go anytime, cuz really, we never really know. To her, being ready is to be sure that when you go, people who've crossed your path in one way or another will not be left with questions in their minds. Having said that, the near-death experiences she underwent really reminded her about the importance of forgiveness, both in bestowing it and receiving it, but so much more on the bestowing-it-part. She is not one to hold grudges against someone! Gosh, I don't think she even knows how, but she is easily hurt like she is hurt right now because some old friends blocked her from being their friend. Well, perhaps she made a nuisance out of herself which she usually does even under normal circumstances, haha, but goodness, all she wanted was to straighten all the kinks she have had in her life just so that when something happens to her, no one will ever wonder if she has ever forgiven him/her or if she was ever apologetic for whatever bad thing people think she has done to them. It makes her angry that when you're trying to be a good friend and a good and forgiving person, intending no harm whatsoever, people won't believe it because they are so used to seeing bad things happening and bad thoughts being thought about and against them!!! Just as well, for these friends maybe, she was just mad that the person does not even have the, she would say decency, but that's going too far, so she'll say, guts (See? she's still trying to be a good person!! haha) to tell her that she is no longer welcome. Aruyyyy!!! Aggghhh, WHATEVER!!!! She had better stop or else, she'd be destroying her keyboard for tapping too forcefully on them!! GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Lord, forgive her anger... it's just seem unfair.. but oh well, people are entitled to their privacy and personal rules and preferences... I just wish that her 'honest and genuine openness' was not misinterpreted as something other than what it is... just simple openness for wanting of closure to a previous tragic chapter of her life.

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