++++Plus++++

Yup, I got two purple lines in the thing called home pregnancy test kit. But it seems to the doc that it is something that needs to be "dealt with" in the next few days.  I'm waiting for the doctor to call and the husband to come home.  I don't know what to feel.  Usually, for someone like me who only have 1 tube left, and an ovary that is so cystic it looks like a rotten cauliflower in the ultrasound, and been trying for the last couple of years, a double line should send me straight to heaven.  But then a double line should not be painful either.  Mine is, so I am not happy.  I am actually indifferent.  I'd say angry, but I shall need another stative verb for tomorrow.

"Lord, please sing to me "The Power of your Love, and Sustaining Grace."  I would but I don't have a voice right now, just a heart that is scared and beaten down to a pulp.

Nov. 19, 2010

Went to see the doc again today.  She has not yet ruled out tubal pregnancy until she sees that my womb is empty. I'll have an ultrasound and other lab works on Monday. I've heard from my neighbors that some of their pregnancies were painful and cramping during the first eight weeks.  I don't know.  I just prayerfully hope that everything is going to be okay.

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