PEDESTAL
During my birthday this month, my friends and colleagues serenaded me and the first song they sang was one that is called Faithful Friend by Twila Paris. One line in the song that I remember says, "I will never put you on a pedestal." And my mind went, "Why not?" But then the next line in the song says, "For we both know the glory is the Lord's." All in all, the song was good, and I should not fail to mention that I love the melody.
But that is not the main reason why I am writing this blog. The reason was that I have personally proven this month that the worst thing one can do, both to oneself and the concerned person, is to put someone on a pedestal. Just like the song said, the pedestal belongs to the Lord alone. We can hold people in very high honor but we should never forget that they are human beings too... fallen human beings just like me and you. It is therefore unrealistic to expect people to stay as perfect as the person we have made up in our minds. Once the person you put on a pedestal fall off your stage, you are left with nothing but disappointment, heartbreak, confusion, awkwardness, and doubt. Nothing will be the same again. Every encounter would be awkward because your mind will always go back to the falling. There is confusion because no matter how you try your best to understand, you will always wonder why something that you have treasured in your heart turned out to be untreasurable (if that is a word). There is doubt because no matter the reassurance, you will always have doubts as to whether you are doing the right thing by them or if the thing that you think is right will not cause any problem to the ones you once put on a pedestal. It is not a question about being able to forgive, because there is really nothing to forgive, since no one was really wronged. It is a question about being able to put the falling off of the pedestal behind and not feel awkward, doubtful, and wary every time. And it is so difficult not to be all these when your self-preservation instinct yells at you to be careful because you might unknowingly trigger a landmine of misplaced jealousy which when it explodes will throw dirt at every beautiful thing that you are keeping in your heart, which in turn will tend to make you feel like you were treated like dirt. And...
I found out there are only two things in life that are really difficult. Losing a loved one, and being treated like you're invisible and not knowing why. For the former, you will cry until your tears run dry, while the latter will make you stay awake for three straight days and nights trying to figure out what wrong you might have had said or done that caused the other person to stop 'seeing' you. But at least for the loss, you have the memories to make you smile, but with the other one, all memories are rethought if they really were genuine and real because now there is a possibility that they may not be.
So bottomline is, save yourself from the pain of disappointment and never put anybody on a pedestal no matter how near-perfect you thought they were. At the end of the day, I have nothing and no one to blame but myself.
But that is not the main reason why I am writing this blog. The reason was that I have personally proven this month that the worst thing one can do, both to oneself and the concerned person, is to put someone on a pedestal. Just like the song said, the pedestal belongs to the Lord alone. We can hold people in very high honor but we should never forget that they are human beings too... fallen human beings just like me and you. It is therefore unrealistic to expect people to stay as perfect as the person we have made up in our minds. Once the person you put on a pedestal fall off your stage, you are left with nothing but disappointment, heartbreak, confusion, awkwardness, and doubt. Nothing will be the same again. Every encounter would be awkward because your mind will always go back to the falling. There is confusion because no matter how you try your best to understand, you will always wonder why something that you have treasured in your heart turned out to be untreasurable (if that is a word). There is doubt because no matter the reassurance, you will always have doubts as to whether you are doing the right thing by them or if the thing that you think is right will not cause any problem to the ones you once put on a pedestal. It is not a question about being able to forgive, because there is really nothing to forgive, since no one was really wronged. It is a question about being able to put the falling off of the pedestal behind and not feel awkward, doubtful, and wary every time. And it is so difficult not to be all these when your self-preservation instinct yells at you to be careful because you might unknowingly trigger a landmine of misplaced jealousy which when it explodes will throw dirt at every beautiful thing that you are keeping in your heart, which in turn will tend to make you feel like you were treated like dirt. And...
I found out there are only two things in life that are really difficult. Losing a loved one, and being treated like you're invisible and not knowing why. For the former, you will cry until your tears run dry, while the latter will make you stay awake for three straight days and nights trying to figure out what wrong you might have had said or done that caused the other person to stop 'seeing' you. But at least for the loss, you have the memories to make you smile, but with the other one, all memories are rethought if they really were genuine and real because now there is a possibility that they may not be.
So bottomline is, save yourself from the pain of disappointment and never put anybody on a pedestal no matter how near-perfect you thought they were. At the end of the day, I have nothing and no one to blame but myself.
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