who are YOU

...in life, a time comes when you doubt everything.. the path that brought you where you are; the commitments and promises you made, whether you have done enough in keeping them, or whether it is time to stop, revisit, and maybe make new ones. You doubt the knowledge and skills you have accumulated so far. You ask yourself if they are helping to make you grow or they are only  holding you back from where you should or need to be. You doubt your sanity. You doubt the people in your life. You doubt yourself. Are you enough? Are you through? Are you still necessary? Are you still an asset or have you become a liability?  Is it worth it? Holding on, that is! Are you done or are you done for? Do you still have something to give or should you just accept that it is now a fact that you have ran out of faith, of love, of hope? Will joy ever smile at you again? Will direction ever be clear to you again? Will life go on? Will love conquer all? Will the darkness lift when morning comes? Will there ever be a 'you' again_ the you who is not scared to try new things; who does not hold back on love, on service, on life. The kind of you who has a zest for life; who redeems all of today because s/he knows that tomorrow is not guaranteed.  The you who cared for everyone, and everything; the you who laughs at corny jokes, cried over cheesy flicks; the you whose eyes always had a tint of mischief behind them, the you who welcomed changes like they were your long lost friends; the you who was not afraid to give her all without expectations; the you who is joyful, thankful, and hopeful?

When life becomes nothing but a series of trying to make it through the day; when the only thing that gets you out of bed in the morning is that one little person who still needs you; and yet still the loudest voice in your head is telling you that today is as good as any to let  go; when your focus is to make sure your tears are never seen, and your sighs and your labored breathing are never audible to anyone, when you endeavour to sound cheerful to fool people and make them believe that you are still you, and not the lifeless, empty shell that you have become, what are you to do, what are you to say? What are you?

I mean, there are rants

and...

...there are genuine cries for help.





mY Synapses...