MARGIENARY

repost from Feb 23'19 Sometimes, the winds of life chase you to the edge... ...and push you over until there is no option left for you but to grow wings and fly. No matter, because it is in winging life that you are able to defy gravity... ....the self-defeating, life-sucking, spirit-weakening, soul-numbing gravity of your eat-sleep-wake-up-eat-sleep-repeat drab, dreary, monochromatic middle-age crisis-producing existence... HUH!!!??? #hugotmuch 😂😂😁🤣🤣 ..OR!!! YOU CAN JUST GO #NuVizParagliding with #IFECPyro, #Violetology. Thank you so much #MasterPyro for my 8-minutesplus of gravity-defying fun!  It was truly #airgasmic!!! Hehehehe!!! It was the most alive I've ever felt in a loooong looong  time. #Lovelovelove to you, my kinakapatid, Violet Lucasi-Elrays for bringing this adventure home to us.   Isa pa!!! Bitin talaga eh!  ;)

This is not my story.   This is a story of God’s handiwork in the   life of one unqualified misfit whom He has qualified to do His work when she responded positively to His call. The manuscript of the Kalanguya complete Bible was recently submitted to the printers for publication.   It was a work that started in the late 60s when missionaries from the New Tribes Missions started to analyse the unwritten language, and formulate a working orthography, taught literacy in the Kalanguya villages in preparation for the translation of the New Testament,   The New Testament was first published and dedicated   in November 1981 and from that time on, the Kalanguya tribe has seen a tremendous growth in the number of people coming to the Saving Grace of Jesus Christ as they were able to read all about the wonderful love of God for them_an all encompassing love that caused Him His Son. In 1997, a young woman fresh from college started to work with the expat translat...

dati ay isang saglit ng kahapon dagling nilimot, sa ala-ala ibinaon dati ay hangin na takot nang umihip ngayon sa likuran ng mga ulap, araw na pilit sumisilip kaya di makapangyari, tuldok man wakasan ang walang hanggan dahil nais ng magpakailanman ay kailanman ding hahandugan... kaya... ... malay mo...

When your sense of security was threatened and you keep telling yourself, it's fine because nothing really happened but yet your insides shake at the thought of what could have happened, and you give all your might to try to forget it, you sleep to keep the horrifying thoughts at bay, and yet they invade your every waking moment, and you try to close your eyes on it, but your mind keeps playing the horrible scenes that chill you to the bone, and consequently you are kept awake by the what-ifs, and the would-haves, and you try to unload on someone you thought would understand you but instead of getting the empathy you so need at that moment, all you get was a dismissive analysis of what you have gone through, and a judgment on what they must have thought of you, you get more hurt and put down, and now, for the life of you, you could not sleep, your roommate is snoring the night away so loudly, and all you could do is listen to the gallop inside of you which is your heart still so de...

People think that I am this truly put-together person.  What they don't know is that 90% of the time, I am barely able to contain the cyclone raging inside my head. A storm of self-defeating thoughts, of past shame, of past sins, of past abuses, of past anger that can sometimes boil up to a point where it becomes this one explosion of outburst followed by a season of angry depression. People think I usually know what I am doing. What they don't understand is that inside I am just a heap of nerves pretending to be self-confident and sure of herself. People seem to believe that my devil-may-care attitude is real. They do not know that I care and get hurt about every sarcastic, unkind, patronizing remark or joke that I hear. I get constant headaches that make me a bitch. If you ask me to do you a favour or get something for you in one of those times, you will meet the unkindest version of me. I hate jokes that are not funny, especially the ones where one has to shut down o...

This is not a proper story. I just wanted to honor someone for the goodness and kindness of his heart, and so here goes.  I usually get weird after undergoing some sort of a difficulty, be it about work, health, or emotionally draining situations. Therefore, I was not surprised to find myself in such a state since this week begun when I saw from FB that a person who has been an important part of my world is in one of the most tragic and heartbreaking situations one could ever be thrown into, suddenly. I started discerning that something has gone wrong with someone I care about when I suddenly felt a physical pain shot to my core and my knees buckled as I was trying to balance 6  styrocups of hot coffee and my cellphone while I was descending an airport escalator.  For some reason, I knew in my heart this person is in pain before I even saw the post in FB about what happened. It does not help either that  I was mentally beat after an intense and mind-numbing endeav...

How did I end up here?  I have now become an angry mess with a bitterness that puts ampalaya to shame. I am angry at people who owe me lots and abused my kindness. Did I allow them to? Is it my fault that I could not say no to needy relatives?  Maybe. But I was just trying to be kind so I believed them and their empty promises. I am angry at people who used to be kind and were able to read me like their morning FB feeds.  Now they seem to choose to misinterpret my actions and my words.  I am angry at people who used to be someone to me but have now chosen to become strangers. I am angry at my life, for being neck-deep in debt because I work in a job that does not take care of my family's needs when in fact I could be compensated better for what I do, if I am not a commitment-honouring fool, who would die first before breaking a vow. I am angry, I am sad, I am done....so so done. mY Synapses...