Showing posts from 2014

Where have you been?

If you ask me that question, I’d say I have been hiding in my cave trying to get all the cobwebs off the stalactites and sweep the floor clean to chase away the perpetual sleeplessness which is like some red-eyed bats that hang on their little sharp-tipped wings on the roof of a cave.

After I wrote that I’m-in-a-bad-mood-so-you-better-get-out-of-my-way-rant some weeks ago, I decided to be a good girl (for a change :-) and keep things to myself. At least to keep from ruining someone else’s day if not more so to maintain a semblance of sanity. That would be the dramatic answer I would give you which would no more or less than the truth, depending on what perspective one is looking from.

The honest and stripped-of-drama, straightforward answer is that I have been trying to “live” more. I guessed experiencing death even for a few seconds leaves its mark on a person and it makes one try to be more ‘alive’ than s/he already is. How does one live more? Well, for myself, I’ve been making sure t…


I’m confused.  I have been a mound of angry muscles, veins, and bones and arteries who if not reined in would go about virtually biting people’s heads off. When you died and been brought back to life, I would think you would be gentler. You would look at the world and everything in a whole new light. Well, I don’t.  I am angry at the doctors for making me go through that when they could have prevented it.  I am angry at my body for being such a messed up clump of cells that cannot even function the way it is supposed to. I am angry at my health for being such a pain in the neck. I am angry at the people who bring work to my door when they know that I need to rest. I am angry at friends who just see me walking around and standing on my own two feet and then assume that everything is fine now and they can treat me without the slightest bit of sensitivity and consideration. I am angry at people who think they are encouraging but actually irritating. I am angry at the dishes that don’t w…

... here's to life

It is a good thing Blogger does not kick out people who stay away from their blogs for too long.  I would have been asked to leave long time ago if they do. It is always good to come back here and read what transpired in years past, so I am back but mostly to use this page again as a therapist.  I always find it therapeutic to write about things that have had an impact on my life specially the scary and bad ones.

Yup, I almost died exactly a day before the 4th death anniversary of my dad. It was around 11PM, while I was writing my case digests on a Saturday, the 14th of this month when I felt this nerve-racking pain in my lower abdomen. I tried to psych myself up and get it under control but when I could not, I awaken my husband and told him that maybe he should take me to the hospital.  After that, I passed out because of the pain.  My husband thought I fell asleep.  When I came to, it was already early in the morning of Sunday and the pain has gotten worse …