MARGIENARY

Bangkok from Above If you will allow me to speak a little bit exaggerated, I would say that there is a coup d' etat brewing around me. I was barely a few hours back and I was bombarded with issues and negativism that threatened to dislodge my footing. People came carrying their own versions of stories and I had no way of knowing what is really going on. I could not help asking why people can't just live and let live.  Why does someone has to be stronger than the other?  Why do you have to be more connected than the next person?  It boggles the mind why people don't just love one another and think the best of their friends, neighbors, co-workers, and fellow human beings.  I had my circle so small hoping to taste a semblance of peace in my little world but no matter how small I make my world, "world peace" is still just a dream. How do you not believe a family?  How do you not see a friend? (I meant "see" in the Avatar sense of the word.) What do you ...

I'm back and I'm busy! I thought things were crazy with the course load I had in Thailand but I couldn't be more wrong!  Things 'been crazier still when I got home.  I have been to six energy-zapping meetings in the last eight days that I've been back.  Five of the meetings left me overwrought, because it concerns my future and the future of other people and the other two tired me physically and mentally because I had to teach and be on Bong's bike morning and afternoon in bumpy muddy trails. But the Lord again in His humorous (in the way I see it) wisdom made sure that I can go to all those meets with the right heart and mind.  Because... Last Sunday, my friend, and my hubby and I went to CCF at St. Francis Square for the Sunday Worship.  The minister talked about Jonah 4, and he said that we have to be careful that our obedience to God or to our calling is not out of duty but should be out of our love for God. I am thankful to God for always coming in thro...

I arrived home to an empty house at midnight last night.  Poor me! Hehehe Yesterday, we dressed up (in my thinking anyway) for the agreement signing between our organization and another one in the business district of Makati.  So I went to Makati twice in a row for two days: the first time I went to meet my future boss when I teach a linguistics course next year, and then the second time for the MOA signing. I was nervous the first few minutes to be face to face with BIG people but I told myself, what the heck, I might be the poorest there but pagdating sa langit, parepareho lang kami! Hehe!  Well, one of them has a bullet proof car and a body guard, so you can imagine the environment.  But what's amazing is that those rich people are really nice. :) After the signing, our group tried to make it to the 3PM bus headed north, but to our dismay, the bus left without us, and my husband who made the ticket reservations was calling me nonstop and sounding irritated too...

I arrived home to an empty house at midnight last night.  Poor me! Hehehe Yesterday, we dressed up (in my thinking anyway) for the agreement signing between our organization and another one in the business district of Makati.  So I went to Makati twice in a row for two days: the first time I went to meet my future boss when I teach a linguistics course next year, and then the second time for the MOA signing. I was nervous the first few minutes to be face to face with BIG people but I told myself, what the heck, I might be the poorest there but pagdating sa langit, parepareho lang kami! Hehe!  Well, one of them has a bullet proof car and a body guard, so you can imagine the environment.  But what's amazing is that those rich people are really nice. :) After the signing, our group tried to make it to the 3PM bus headed north, but to our dismay, the bus left without us, and my husband who made the ticket reservations was calling me nonstop and sounding irritated too....

You read me like a paper You hear me loud and clear You hold me so near You treat me nice and fair You loved me so dear At least, you used to, then you disappear. It used to be that: In my dismay, you were my encourager In my weakness, you were my strength-giver In my darkness, you were a beacon of light In the storms I've faced, you were a sure anchor In my life, you were one of my greatest fines. Why then did you become my Waterloo? Cuz my heart bleeds every time I remember you I wish I have never known one such as you One who has turned my days so bleak and blue. My heart had loved you with all it has I have esteemed you so high in my eyes My lips have prayed, you the Lord would bless You were a content of my proud stories So never have I thought we would end up like this. My mind goes back to the time When your love and esteem were mine Many moons ago my life was on the line But you were constant, you'd never left me behind So I wish the sun would usher in a dawn ...

You read me like a paper You hear me loud and clear You hold me so near You treat me nice and fair You loved me so dear At least, you used to, then you disappear. It used to be that: In my dismay, you were my encourager In my weakness, you were my strength-giver In my darkness, you were a beacon of light In the storms I've faced, you were a sure anchor In my life, you were one of my greatest fines. Why then did you become my Waterloo? Cuz my heart bleeds every time I remember you I wish I have never known one such as you One who has turned my days so bleak and blue. My heart had loved you with all it has I have esteemed you so high in my eyes My lips have prayed, you the Lord would bless You were a content of my proud stories So never have I thought we would end up like this. My mind goes back to the time When your love and high opinion were mine Many moons ago my life was on the line But you were constant, you never left me behind So I wish the sun wou...

Many days have passed me by Yet here I am unable to say goodbye My mind keeps going back to the time When life was neat and fine The joy that's used to be mine Is in that place where it was left behind. I've always been the strong one Able to weather most storms, Never really been blown away Able to cut down her losses and move on But now it feels like that might be because I have never really won. So I ask my eyes why it cannot behold happiness I ask my ears why it does not hear laughter Why my feet never arrive at the place where joy is plenty And my hands cannot take a hold of love All I have are days and years that had left me empty. So please give me this one more chance Carry me in your arms Show me a hopeful day Tell me I have not lost my way Give me this one more chance And please hold me by your side Til I am able to fly again With You. (Just an exaggerated ramblings of one homesick soul.)

(just another nocturnal ramblings of a pathological insomniac) Many days have passed me by Yet here I am unable to say goodbye My mind keeps going back to the time When life was neat and fine The joy that's used to be mine Is in that place where it was left behind. I've always been the strong one Able to weather storms, Never really been blown away Able to cut down her losses and move on But now it feels like that might be because I have never really won. So I ask my eyes why it cannot behold happiness I ask my ears why it does not hear laughter Why my feet never arrive to the place where joy is plenty And my hands cannot take a hold of love All I have are days and years that had left me empty. So please give me this one more chance Carry me in your arms Show me a hopeful day Tell me I have not lost my way Give me this one more chance And please hold me in your hands Til I am able to fly again With You.

Without intending or meaning to be blasphemous, let me say that I have had the misfortune of being blessed with introverted sensitivity.  Now, what do I mean by that? I have been told not once that I am a cold, stolid, passive, and tough to crack nut.  And cold people are supposedly not easily hurt. But people forget that there are no cold people unless they're dead.  If there are, their circumstances were sure to have something to do with it, and still, they are not cold, they're just good at masking their true feelings.  I am a sensitive person contrary to the "ironhearted' front people see. I cry over things as simple as a corny scene in a movie, and I hurt like hell when people misjudge me or treat me unfairly.  Who doesn't, right? I have tried to be tough and strong and slightly uncaring, but you can only be tough and strong and uncaring for so long.  I have tried to be a good person, and I am trying to be, but still people misjudge you, and hurt y...

Lunch today was sooo HOT! Hot in the palatal sense of the word. Yesterday, I had an interesting seaweed-in-my-food experience that caused me multiple trips to the "throne room." But it's all good now! So today, after we got our minds to a point where it was on the verge of unarrangeable (I know that's not a word, hehe) confusion regarding the endless endings of a Greek Verb, I went with colleagues to a nearby cafe inside Payap University, and I ordered what everyone else was having, rice with pork roast and fried basil toppings and an Ice Mocha. The first taste was sooo good! And the second taste, better, .... but the third down to the last bite was like kissing or licking the door of hell. Of course I'm not saying, hell has a door. :D But the insides of my mouth started to burn to the point of numbness that I no longer can think. And my friend who's enjoying her plate kept saying, 'Hot ha! But delicious!' and I kept blowing, "Hoooooh!!...

Lunch today was sooo HOT!  Hot in the palatal sense of the word. Yesterday, I had an interesting seaweed-in-my-food experience that caused me multiple trips to the "throne room." But it's all good now!  So today, after we got our minds to a point where it was on the verge of unarrangeable (I know that's not a word, hehe) confusion regarding the endless endings of a Greek Verb, I went with colleagues to a nearby cafe inside Payap University, and I ordered what everyone else was having, rice with pork roast and fried basil toppings and an Ice Mocha.   The first taste was sooo good!  And the second taste, better, ....  but the third down to the last bite was like kissing or licking the door of hell. Of course I'm not saying, hell has a door.  :D But the insides of my mouth started to burn to the point of numbness that I no longer can think.  And my friend who's enjoying her plate kept saying, 'Hot ha! But delicious!' and I kept blowing, "Hooooo...

Yayy, I barely made it! I barely managed to sign in to this blog because my browser is in Thai script and I can't decipher a thing. My companions and I arrived in Chiang Mai via Bangkok late in the evening of Saturday. That was just 3 days ago but here I am again, feeling like I've been here too long already. I have eaten Pad Thai for two consecutive lunches, like the addict that I am, but at lunch today, a friend told me to try something else and she ordered three kinds of dishes that were all hot and spicy and 'interesting' that now, I had to make trips to the throne room so frequently. I think this was caused by the dish that has something darkish and kind of fishy (in the literal sense of the word). When I asked what it was, I was told it's a seaweed. Back home, I only eat "ar-arosip" and agar-agar, so maybe it was the weeds unfamiliarity with my stomach that has brought about the churning of my insides. So I'm here, trying to learn more abou...

My companions and I arrived in Chiang Mai via Bangkok late in the evening of Saturday.  That was just 3 days ago but here I am again, feeling like I've been here too long already.  I have eaten Pad Thai for two consecutive lunches, like the addict that  I am, but at lunch today, a friend told me to try something else and she ordered three kinds of dishes that were all hot and spicy and 'interesting' that now, I had to make trips to the throne room so frequently. I think this was caused by the dish that has something darkish and kind of fishy (in the literal sense of the word).  When I asked what it was, I was told it's a seaweed.  Back home, I only eat "ar-arosip" and agar-agar, so maybe it was the weeds unfamiliarity with my stomach that has brought about the churning of my insides. So I'm here, trying to learn more about Greek.  Our teacher seems to know what she's talking about but she's kind of the type that assumes that when she explains, ...